Is Spanking a Child Right or Wrong:
What Does GOD Say on This Matter?
In this day and age in which we live, to ask such a question in public would cause much controversy. Why? Because as a whole, almost all nations, with the United States leading the way, are more concerned with how a psychologist or a therapist would answer this question rather than what God has to say concerning this most important matter. Many today have many ideas as to what has happened to cause the moral decline in America, and all other nations and this preacher says that it all began in the home, and then when prayer was taken out of the schools, and then even the very mention of God in public places. Even during Christmas, we have vendors who say ___mas, or Happy Holidays, so that they do not recognize Christ during Christmas. The major problem with this issue, which is an entirely different message, is that without Christ, there is no Christmas, for He is what Christmas is. Today, let us take up this subject of spanking. Let us see what psychologists say as opposed to the Word of God. At least afterward one as a parent will be better informed as to what choice they need to make whenever it comes to this subject.
As I grew up, I remember hearing this statement, “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” Of course, as I was a child, I could only assume that this saying, being told it was biblical, was what God had said. However, as I grew older, being saved by the grace of God at the age of fourteen, on October eighteenth, nineteen seventy-two, I then began a study into the Word of God, which began that day, and will continue to be true for the remainder of my days on earth. Once one is married, and children come along, then questions such as this must be answered. Therefore, I sought to see exactly what God’s word said on this subject. Back whenever I was growing up, most people seemed to just accept whatever God said, whereas today, in this so-called modern society, people are more concerned with what a psychologist or therapist has to say on this matter rather than the words of God. These “specialists” for the most part, not all, say that to spank a child is harmful to the child, because it bruises their ego, and has an effect on how they view things. Most specialists consider spanking violent behavior towards a child. My quest has not been to just “accept” what one said God has said on any matter or the words of a ‘specialist”, but to seek to find out myself, with the help of others much more knowledgeable than myself, what “thus saith the word of God.”
Therefore, let us first start with the original saying from God I was told, “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” I looked and I looked and I could not find it anywhere in Scripture. So quite naturally for me, I began to look up the word “rod” and found the Scripture that many had translated as “Spare the rod and spoil the child”, only to see that not only was it misquoted, but this saying is a gross injustice to the word of The Living God. Exactly what does the Scripture say? We find it in Proverbs 13:24, “He that spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” Now let us look carefully at what God says about spanking (and we also will look at other Scriptures as well). Is it Biblical for a parent to spank their child? God says not only is it biblical, but also that failure to do so when needed is showing hatred towards one’s child.
Why Spank a Child?
The main key to understanding this verse would be the word “chasteneth”. This means that the purpose of using the rod is to instruct, to warn, give reproof, or in other words, to teach the child that there are consequences to bad or wrong behavior or decisions. If one was to survey a group of older Americans and also survey younger Americans, you would find that with the older crowd, discipline, corporal punishment, or whatever you desire to call it, wasn’t in question when we were growing up (yes I am one of the “older” ones). Back when I was in school, if needed, our teachers could spank us. In my parent’s house, it was understood that if you were to ever get a spanking at school, then coming home you could expect to be getting one also from your parents. Did they do this to hurt us? I think of a case on an episode of Andy Griffeth when Opie knew he was going to be spanked. He put some books in his pants. Before Andy spanked Opie, he told him that it would hurt him more than it would Opie (not because of the books either). You see, our parents had expectations for us, based on how they taught us. We were to respect our elders, say “yes sir”, and “yes mam”, behave ourselves at all times, especially when we went to someone else’s house, and especially to behave ourselves in church. Our parents wanted us to grow up to be good, productive members of society. Today it seems that there are no restraints on young people, because they have been allowed to do whatsoever they want to do, not teaching them of any consequences for their actions. When did this all begin? When the prayer time was allowed to be taken out of the schools, and then later God was taken out of the classroom, and even to the point today that during graduation services at many public schools, the name of God cannot even be mentioned. Other Scriptures that would help us to understand this teaching concerning spanking can be found in Proverbs 22:15; 23:13-14; 29:15, just to name a few. In reading the Bible, you will see over and over how God warned Israel not to disobey Him, yet they did. As a result, God would chastise them, with the desire that it would bring them to a point of repentance. Sometimes when we look at the history of Israel, we would have to say that they have been a “stubborn and disobedient” people, but is it not true that the same could be said of each of us at times in our lives. God gave us His laws, and all His teachings on how to live, so that we could live the best life we could live. That doesn’t mean that there will not be difficult times, for God never promised us that on this side of heaven. Only by being obedient to God can we prosper, and we all at times have failed to be obedient, and as His children, have paid the price (Proverbs 3:11-12, Hebrews 12:6-8). God says in Hebrews 12:6-8, that if you haven’t been chastised by Him, you are not even one of His children.
Having shown that spanking is biblical, is it always the only choice? Of course not. Sometimes you will find that children will listen, and then obey. Yet there will be times when you need something more effective than a time-out. When first hearing this term, time-out, I said that my dad would always take “time-out” when he needed to spank us, and believe me, it hurt, it wasn’t something you could easily forget. You may say that by spanking I mean that God wants us to just barely touch our child. Read this Scripture: Proverbs 19:18 “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” Now let me ask you this? If God says, “and let not thy soul spare for his crying”, and He does, would it not stand to reason that the child being spanked “felt” the rod? I know it always did for me.
One final word on this subject. In our original Scripture we looked at, Proverbs 13:24, God said, “but he that loveth him”. Never forget that the purpose, the God-given purpose of spanking is LOVE, therefore, it should not be done out of anger, and when one is angry. Before spanking a child, you should first let the child know why they are going to be spanked. Never spank a child without a purpose. Make sure that they understand why it has come to a place where a spanking must take place. Make sure that you have given them other opportunities to be obedient, and do not let a spanking be your first option with your children. Do with them as God does with us, warn them of the consequences for the wrong that they might do, just as it is with us. Let your child grown up knowing that he/she was loved my momma and daddy, and they will be an asset to society, and most of all, you can sleep at night knowing that you were obedient to God, regardless of what any man may say.